HARRY POTTER OVER LOAD!

Ok so I've been reading Harry Potter once again. I want to finish the series before the HBP (Half Blood Prince; 6th Book) comes out. I just finished reading the second book and I think I'm just no going to sleep untill I finish the books.

I said that last night, but that was before I watched "Saw" with Ben and Carmie. Holy shit that the scariest fucking movie ever. I don't do well with scary movies. I didn't watch much of Saw but I sure as hell listened to every bit. That's gotta be worse. Then that night when I was reading later into the night, I kept falling asleep. I kept waking up thinking I need to finished that puzzle or something. Then I actually saw Ben's face and he had blood coming from his mouth. Fuckin' scary ass shit.

Anyways I bought a rhyming dictionary. So I'll read that also and kept up with my rhyme so the next time I jam, I can spit out my lyrics! MY WORDS ARE LIKE HOT FIRE! I'M DYLON I SPIT HOT FI-YA!!

Then my father expressed an after High school plan to me. And I really like it. Some facts need to be set staright, but more thinking is involved. My father's ex-boss, live in San José or some place in Californian. And He needs a nanny. So If I went to community college there for a year or two, they'd let me stay in there home as a nanny. I'd get free room and board and 300 dollars a month. I'd would have to get the kids ready for school, then I'd be there after school for them. Then I could go to community college and then trasfer into Standford University. The reason that make this great: I don't have to worry about my not-so prefect (yet ok grades) of high school. It will be cheeper to go to a community college for the first years, then when I'm living there for a year or two, if i get excepted to Standford, I won't have to paid out of state tution. I never really liked "community college" for me, but if I trasfered into a University it would be better, I wouldn't have to stress so much. Plus, C.colleges are usually smaller so I'll have the attention I need, and wanted in the beginning. And if someone were to ask what college you went to, it would be Standford. Because that's where I would grautated.

-But I'm just worried about my freedom. Will my time be completely comsumed by the children and school? Will I not have free time? Will I not be able to enjoy a night with friends? Could I have a personally life? It's not just a Baby sitting joy when you're there for a few hours, I'm going to be living with this family. I'll become apart of them.

But I also like that fact that I'll be closer to my mother. -and farther away from my grandmother and father that have raised me. I'm torn between two loves. The love that I was bought up with and the love that can be strengthen with new bonds. I'd like to see more of my mother and sister, but then again I'd miss my grandmother and father much. I'll miss everyone. Lifes changing so fast, I feel i'm about to lose everything I've just gain (friendship wise).

I know this for sure. I don't want to go to a college that is close to this location. I really don't even want to go to college in this state. Yet, I would like to go to college with at least one person I know. But maybe not a close friends. just a friendly face you and catch with, and relate things with. Then again I'm sure you can find those people in college too. College scares me. I have all this uncertainies and doubts.

I'm not sure if all my reason for going to college is why i'm doing it. It mostly come down to fear. I don't want to be poor and have to scrape by things. But I don't want to be pulled into a corprit american and forced into an "American Box". I wanna be free, to travel to explore. To understand the makings the human soul and spirit, to understand myself. College seems to restricting to let me do that. Of course I want to learn and gain knownledge. But is college that right setting for me?


Anyways, CorbaFox and Conrad want me to be the D.D. on sunday while they fry on mushrooms watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory. I'm up for any adventure!


-Over and Out, KittyHawk